I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
