if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
