Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
