She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
