How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
