I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
