I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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