All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
