it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
