he shaved USA in his pubs
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
