Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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