I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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