Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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