She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
