I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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