i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
