no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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