thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
