he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
