Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
