god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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