My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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