I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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