One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
