Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
It's just like the Real World with babies
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
