Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
