I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
