youre lurking in front of me
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
