I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
