O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
