I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
