okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
