my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
