my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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