YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
