this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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