I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
