now i know why i became what i already was.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
