wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
