thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
