i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
