if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
