Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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