So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
