put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
True but thats because hes a fetus.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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