you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
well you can't waste a boner
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
