Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
