You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
