32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
