If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
