she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
