Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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