So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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