It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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