It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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