i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
